&& MIDNIGHT CHAT [XAN][C]

There was a pause as Alyxx stared blankly, but intently at Xander. Then after a few moments he opened the door wide enough for Xander to come into his room and went to go sit in his chair at his own desk, leaving the door to be closed by Xander himself. He knew that this somehow had specifically to deal with Apollo, and he had his suspicions, but he didn't want to be jumping to conclusions too soon. 

"Tell me what happened in detail."

Intently he listened to eat word that was thrown his way. Every single word that Xander said had been stored in the back of hid brain so that he could pick through it. However, halfway through the report Alyxx's mind started to get distracted. He didn't understand it at first, it was rather annoying.... But after a half hour of trying to focus himself back again, Alyxx could tell that something under the sound radar was what continued to bother him. 

“I'm not sure if he'll calm down after this...I feel... Responsible? Guilty even...”

At this statement he figured it was the end of the long story and he allowed himself to deepen the range of his hearing. There was a slightly long quiet pause. Then a very slight intake of breath came from his mouth. 

thump... thump... thump... 

No... It couldn't be. Dammit! Of course you would be the one to discover it! I thought I told not to get too attached to him. This is of course what I had been talking about!

Oh what...? His own reaction was very strange. While he only showed slight signs of shock on his face, inside his head he was almost screaming at himself, but he felt nothing. This situation was becoming very similar to when he first met Mikhail, except obviously less dramatic. It was as if his own mind was acting on its own.

With most people Alyxx wasn't an emotional person, but he certainly was able to act like he had feelings. With his nobodies, most of the time, he cut out the act simply because they all understood. He didn't need to act around them. What he was hearing at the lower range of sound was a heart. This of course should be completely impossible for a nobody to have. However, he did happen to know that there was a way to get one's heart back and there was a way for a nobody to grow a new heart. 

Was that what had happened? Had Xander grown a new heart? Again he blamed the heartless, Apollo. But how was he supposed to handle this situation. There was no telling what kind of feelings Xander would develop and how they would effect Xander's behavior. He certainly didn't want to kick Xander out of the organization, for he was a very valuable ally. Should he have Xander get rid of Apollo? Should he have the heart forcefully taken out? At this point in time he was neither a somebody or a nobody, but rather something inbetween. 

"First of all," He started in a quietly reasurance dripping mildly in his tone of voice. He could hear Xander's heart beating quickly due to stress, fear, and the excitement of what had just happened. "You need to relax. Apollo is probably just as worried about you as you are about him. He may even feel more guilt then you do for letting in a stranger while you were gone and then driving you out of your own room. He'll calm down. Just give him the rest of the night to do so. Everything will turn out perfectly fine for the two of you. As for Felix, relax. Don't be too hard on him. From what it sounds like is they had formed some kind of friendship little as it may be. Felix came from prison. He's lost all sense of individuality and personal space. He's a cannibal after all. But from what I gathered from Apollo is that the only personal space holy to him is yours and his own. Do not be so upset at Felix. He's your friend too. He just needs to be taught social cues and culture. Thats all."

The reason he spoke with Feeling, was because only feeling could help reduce another feeling. It was why he was such a great manipulator. He used feelings to effect the emotions of others, even thought he himself didn't have them. Right now, he wasn't meaning to manipulate Xander per se. He was more trying to help him relax a bit before he told him the shocking news. 

"I also need you to relax because I have something very important to tell you about what your experiencing."

Alyxx could feel the shift in behavior on the Felix subject in Xander's heart beat. It was much easier to read people's hearts then it was to read their faces and movements anyway. But he didn't breech the subject anymore. What Xander did with Felix was his decision to make and Alyxx only said what was logical. Now would come the difficult part. 

Telling him he was growing a new heart. 

He had no idea how Xander was going to react to this. His heart would certainly respond. He rather hoped that it would be in a good way, because he really didn't want to deal with panic, although he was readying himself for it anyway. And there certainly would be some shock. 

"No... You aren't going crazy. Although... circumstances... have changed for you. Its very critical that you came to me before going to anyone else. There is something that both I and Ilmax have researched and have decided not to tell the rest of the organization, for obvious reasons." 

He paused and thought for a moment. How was he going to expose the idea without a big commotion? 

"Sometimes, when the circumstances are right, A nobody can develop a new heart. It wouldn't be it's old heart, but they would gain emotions and feelings over time..." As he spoke he paid very close attention to the man that sat cross-legged on the floor in front of him, keeping a mental eye on the pace of his tiny heart and his behavior. "I think this is what you are experiencing Xander. The beginnings of a new heart."

Xander's tiny heart began to race. Faster and faster. Alyxx had already known this would happen. So he readied himself for any kind of behavior that Xander might throw his way. Which wasn't as bad as he had planned for. Which was good, because Alyxx didn't want to have to knock him out because he was tearing up Alyxx's room or attacking Alyxx himself. 

But he wasn't, which was good. Alyxx stood up then and walked over to where Xander was sitting on the floor clutching his chest with his hand, and then he kneeled next to him. There was silence for a moment as Alyxx thought about what he was going to say and then he spoke quietly, carefully, and reassuringly. 

"You are NOT defective Xander. You are NOT a broken toy. You are NOT useless. Are you loyal to the organization?"

He paused for a moment and then, without waiting for an answer to his question, said in a more firm but still kind voice. "Xander, are you loyal to the organization?"

“What even is a nobody that can feel?! I’m defeating my own purpose…”

Alyxx didn’t respond. He was too busy trying to decide what the correct thing to say was. His subordinate was going through a phenomenon that was very rare for a nobody like him. He’d done tests about it on much lesser nobodies but the heart that they grew was never able to fully develop. They grew into a deep depression that ended up killing them. Xander was a valuable member of the organization. He had never seen it happen to a nobody of such high caliber. He truly didn’t know how to fix the problem to the satisfaction of himself or Xander, or the rest of the organization.

”Yes, I am… I’m loyal to nothing else in this god forsaken universe.” Alyxx shook his head. He disagreed. While he knew very well that Xander was absolutely loyal to the organization and would even give his life up to it, he also knew that there was one other being that held his attention even more possibly then the organization itself. Whether he wanted to believe that or not. It was absolutely true. Something that he couldn’t deny easily.

“Why is this happening… to me? What circumstances did I meet?”

Alyxx was quiet as he considered how to respond. Xander was in a delicate state, he didn’t want to make it any worse. But it was going to be inevitable because he could tell that Xander already knew the answer, he just didn’t want to accept it. ”You became attached… mentally our minds are made to attach to things. Without attachment we don’t function as we should. For example. You have a set list of foods that you eat on a regular basis because you like those foods. Your body enjoys them and that creates chemicals in your mind that tell you that you like it. You can try new foods every now and a again, and your body may or may not become attached to those foods. Your body is attached to those foods, but not emotionally. It can become an emotional thing, but its not likely to create an entirely new heart. This usually happens when one grows emotionally attached to something that lives, with or without a heart.”

He paused. This was already going to be hard for Xander, but he might as well point out the obvious, just so that it was out in the open. ”I believe, you’ve become emotionally attached to Apollo.”

It wasn't a surprise to Alyxx that the first person that would be brought up by Xander, should he get attached to someone else, would be Alyxx himself. It was a rather normal thing for some reason. After all even though he wasn't the type of person to want to get on his bad side, he certainly wasn't judgmental, and he was very good at listening. Ilmax on the other hand, was not. She just all around wasn't the type of person to get involved with Social affairs... 

Either way, Alyxx didn't know if he would appreciate another organization member following him around everywhere Like Dax did... Although after he got that somebody as a pet... Or companion more like... He'd been around much less often... Which made him wonder about that kid...

Turning back to the problem at hand, Alyxx placed his hand on Xander's shoulder. "Calm down Xander. You are not going to be kicked out of the organization and we are not going to take Apollo away. As long as he isn't a distraction for your work and missions." Then he paused and pulled away, sitting in a crosslegged position right across from Xander. 

"We aren't going to abandon you Xander." He said, resorting back to his neutral tone. "However, keep in mind that everyone around you is a nobody, besides Apollo. Realistically we can't feel what you feel. We can't even begin to understand what you are feeling right now. If you forget that the people around you are Nobodies and have no emotions. And something they say or do offends you... be aware, the harsh reality is, they don't care. They can pretend all they want. But when it comes down to it, hurting you or you hurting them, is the last thing they care about. They have no care for life for the most part. If you are to stay here, I can't have you starting fights or causing problems with the other members. Its not worth it and the only person who will ultimately be hurt is you."